Friday, April 22, 2011
CA Trip - What about the narrative?
I feel like I rushed through getting all these posts up just based on the pictures, but there is obviously so much more to the trip. I come to California to see my dad after all. I am not much of one for writing up the "darker" stuff on my blog, but life has its cycles.... My dad still seems sad and lonely every day. He sometimes just sits in his chair and breaks out in tears. I feel sad living so far away from him but can't imagine going back to Southern California, and I know he is way too set in his ways to move out of his home. His memory also seems even worse than it was last time. He asks me the same questions over and over, tells the same stories over and over. I worry about him living in that big house all alone and he focuses so much on all the people who have died in his life instead of the living. He barely eats anything, and everything he does he tells me doesn't taste good anymore. He also gets food out and leaves it on the counter for hours! I was constantly putting stuff away and had to wonder how long he leaves stuff out sometimes! I can't believe he never gets food poisoning! But what can I say? He is stubborn and independent as ever. My greatest fear is that we will have to insist at some point he go into a care facility against his wishes. Who knows, maybe he will opt for at least a retirement community one of these days, but it really doesn't seem like it. For now, I plan to keep visiting twice a year. He could live for another 20 years or more! He is in excellent health except for his memory and his vision. So here's to the idea of him dancing at Akasha's wedding. You just never know.