Musings About Birth

Today was the second week of Birthing from Within classes, which I am taking with my friend Jessica. It has been really great so far. First of all, I want to say how surprised I have been about how well some of the pain coping techniques have worked. We practice by tightly holding a cube of ice for 60 seconds. We did one the first week that involved keeping your eyes open and just looking around at details around the room. I totally didn't expect it to work, but the time went by so fast. Then this week we used a really interesting one that involved sensing where the edges of the pain were. I would have never thought about this, but it was amazingly affective.

I have been wanting to write down some thoughts about the coming birth for awhile now, so this seems like a good time. I have been thinking alot about how my last birth went, what I know now, and how I want things to be different. So I thought I would make a list. I know I may think of more things as time goes on, so I will come back here and edit it I guess. Some of this stuff I don't even need to write down because Pam, my current midwife, would never do them! But I guess it is still therapeutic to write it all down.

- I want to acknowledge I am in birth sooner. I spent so long not being sure, and so I never really enjoyed any of the birth CDs I made or anything else I had planned. For the longest time, I just kept thinking I had indigestion because I was expecting the same back labor I had with Sarah! But I wish I would have thought, maybe this is labor, so I should be present with it in that way just in case. Even once we were pretty sure, it was like I thought I needed to wait until it got difficult to use my music, and then it was too late and I didn't even notice it.

-Along the same lines, I hope my midwife is there during a good part of my active labor. Last time, she barely walked in time to tell me start pushing. I kept thinking I wasn't very far along, and I didn't want to get her out of bed when she had told me earlier she thought I would deliver the following morning. On the one hand, I don't really need anybody and can focus on being within myself, but I think a midwife does offer a different kind of support that can be really great, like knowing massage techniques to relieve pain and reminding you to try different things if it seems like things are not going well.

-I want to spend more time in the water for sure! Again, I wasn't sure how far along I was and had heard labor can be slowed down if you get in too early. But now I know the answer to that is, so what?! I love the water and want to spend more of my active labor in the birth tub compared to getting in just before transition started last time.

-I want to trust my body more and listen deeply to what it is telling me to do.

-I really want to have more freedom of movement, especially during pushing. I have realized that means Ron probably won't be able to be in the birthing tub with me (unless we decide to buy a million dollar jacuzzi before then). That part is sad, but hopefully he can still be right next to me. Last time I ended up almost on my back and couldn't move much at all.

-No automatic pitocin shot

-No baby suctioning unless there is a need for it. I look at the pictures of poor Orion being held upside down and poked at with a syringe as his first welcome to the world while my hands are reaching out for him. Pam does not believe in routine suctioning, and indeed, babies were made to deal with coming into life on their own. It is just another example of how modern medicine communicates to us we need help to do things that should be a natural occurrence.

-And to logically follow that... baby belongs on my chest as soon as she is out, and that is where she should stay, even if I need stitches. Orion ended up spending a substantial time away from me in the first hour while my tear was being attended to.

-And to logically follow that... if I tear again, I would rather have it heal naturally anyway. I am sure there are cases where this is not wise, but Pam is not in favor of stitching up in most cases, so I would trust her opinion if she thought I needed it.

-No tugging on my cord to get the placenta out! That was another shocker last time.

-I am really not sure about when I want to cut the cord, but I know I want it to be after I deliver the placenta. I thought about doing a lotus birth, but Ron is really against it, and I can see some pros and cons. I think I will just have to follow my intuition on this one.

-I would like to allow the baby to latch on by herself, with no guidance from me. There is more and more research coming out showing that baby led latching leads to much more successful breastfeeding, and again, this is the way nature designed it.

-Last, but not least, I want to keep my placenta! Somehow it never occurred to me last time that they would take it!

And in closing, here is an acrostic poem I wrote while working on Orion's scrapbook:

Home sweet home
Only who I want there
My Choices, my way
Each moment is sacred
Blessings surround me
In the water
Room to move around
Taking things at my pace
Happy baby, happy mama